Children’s Mental Health Week by Jayne Bond

To mark Children’s Mental health week, here are a few practical tips on how you can support your child’s mental health.

As parents, one of our most important roles is to support and nurture our children’s emotional well-being. With the increasing pressures and challenges of modern life, our children need us more than ever to help them navigate their emotions and develop resilience. We can do this through effective communication, setting boundaries, emotional regulation, and fostering self-esteem.

Listen Actively

Give your child your full attention when they are speaking. Put away distractions such as your phone or TV and make eye contact. Show that you are listening by nodding and responding with comments like “I see” or “That sounds tough.”

Instead of asking questions that can answered with yes or no, ask open ended questions, for example ‘What was the best part of your day’? this allows your child to reflect on their day.

Be Open and Honest

Encourage open and honest conversations by being open and honest yourself. Share your thoughts and feelings in an age-appropriate way, and let your child know that it’s okay to express their emotions.

Responsiveness

When your child is dealing with a challenging situation or feelings, they could be emotional in their communication with you. If they are angry, don’t react by meeting them back with anger, meet them with curiosity and calm, wondering what has made them feel angry.

Validation

Acknowledge your child’s emotions and let them know that it’s okay to feel what they are feeling. For example, “It sounds like you are really frustrated. It’s okay to feel that way.”

Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for creating a safe and predictable environment for your child. Here are some tips for setting and maintaining boundaries:

Be Clear and Consistent

Clearly communicate the rules and expectations to your child and be consistent in enforcing them. Consistency helps children understand what is expected of them and what the consequences are for not following the rules. Let your child be involved in any conversations about ‘House Rules’, as they need to be fair and apply to everyone.

Be Firm but Fair

While it’s important to be firm in setting boundaries, it’s equally important to be fair and understanding. Take the time to explain the reasons behind the rules and listen to your child’s perspective.

Offer Choices

Giving your child choices within the boundaries you set can help them feel a sense of autonomy and independence. For example, “You can choose to do your homework now or after dinner.”

Emotional Regulation

Helping your child learn to regulate their emotions is crucial for their mental health. Here are some tips for teaching emotional regulation:

 

Model Healthy Coping Strategies

Children learn by observing their parents. Model healthy coping strategies such as deep breathing, taking a break, or talking about your feelings. Your child will be more likely to adopt these strategies themselves. Children learn the most from watching you. If they see coping well in stressful situations, they are likely to manage them well too.

Create a Calm Environment

Create a calm and peaceful environment at home where your child feels safe and secure. This can include having a quiet space for relaxation and limiting exposure to stressful situations. Have limits on screen time for the whole family. Eat meals together, this is a great time to talk together!

Encourage Emotional Expression

Encourage your child to express their emotions in healthy ways, such as talking about their feelings, drawing, or writing in a journal. Let them know that it’s okay to feel and express a range of emotions. If you child struggles to express their feelings, name what you are seeing, for example, your fists are clenched and your shoulders are hunched, you look angry. This gives them the vocabulary to express how they feel and notice the sensations in their body.

Praise Effort, Not Just Achievement

Praise your child for their effort and hard work, not just their achievements. This helps them develop a growth mindset and understand that their value is not solely based on their accomplishments.

Encourage Independence

Encourage your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and make decisions for themselves. This helps them develop a sense of competence and confidence in their abilities. Children need to feel capable and useful.

 

 

Focus on Strengths

Help your child identify and focus on their strengths and talents. Encourage them to pursue activities and hobbies that they enjoy and want to get better at.

Be Supportive and Loving

When our children are being unlovable, is when they need the most love! Show your child that you love and support them unconditionally. Be there for them during difficult times and celebrate their successes. Your support and encouragement are crucial for building their self-esteem.

Self-Care

Supporting your child’s mental health is a continuous and evolving process. By maintaining open communication, setting clear boundaries, teaching emotional regulation, and fostering self-esteem, you can help your child develop the resilience and skills they need to navigate life’s challenges. Remember, your role as a parent is vital, and the love and support you provide are invaluable to your child’s mental well-being. Make sure you are taking care of your own well-being, as it’s hard to give, what you are not receiving yourself. As our founder, Kim McCabe says, ‘Put your own oxygen mask on first!’ Create practises and find the people, that support and resource you, so that you have the patience and energy to model this to your children.

Jayne Bond is a Girls Journeying Together Facilitator and Girls’ Net Mentor in the Bognor Regis area. To find out more about groups and taster please use the link below to contact her.

Jayne Bond

Creating Space for People: In Conversation with Golda Rosheuvel

Being relatively new to Rites for Girls I have been intrigued to find out more about our Ambassador, Golda Rosheuvel and what brought her to support our work. I was lucky enough to have a conversation with her last week and came away feeling so inspired by her passion and commitment to the well-being of girls and our training programme for women.

Golda is a beloved UK television and film actor and known for her powerful roles. I was keen to find out how she had heard about our work at Rites for Girls. Had she been looking for a cause to support alongside her acting work? To my surprise, it was through an informal chat that Golda came to hear about us. Sitting next to the Chair of Rites for Girl’s Non-Exec Board, Karen, at Wimbledon just 18 months ago they got talking and Karen mentioned our work which made Golda want to know more.

“It just sparked a real interest, a real memory of being adolescent, of being young and of needing something like that and I thought I want to be involved with that, I want to support that.”

Golda told me it was the impact of Karen’s words that really stayed with her that day (although she reassured me that they both enjoyed the tennis as well).

“I think it was that connection to my younger self, my younger self literally leant forward and went Gold, you need to hear more about this. That’s the thing that really resonates for me with Rites for Girls, is that I needed something like that when I was that age, and it would have so helped me to have that support.”

Golda went on to talk about the landmark programme we run, Girls Journeying Together and how wonderful it is for the girls participating to, “have those hands to hold, having that kindred spirit and that understanding that: life is difficult at the moment and I’m not quite sure why.”

Golda really understands that growing up can be challenging and that as a preteen herself she could have benefited from this sort of support.

Golda had the opportunity to meet a group of our girls who were brought together from different groups, some at the beginning of the year-long journey whilst others having completed the programme.

“I met the girls shortly after we discussed it at Wimbledon and what I really got from them was sisterhood, which I’m really strong on. I have amazing female friends, and I like to have that connection and that power and that understanding, that energy.”

“In the older girls you saw that confidence and that power that they have for themselves and for each other. It was a real gentle, serene confidence.

They are already a group, it doesn’t matter that they are from different circles, they all had this core understanding and belief in themselves and each other.”

“That we understand each other, there’s a kinship there. What struck me when I met the girls is that they’re going to have that for the rest of their lives. That’s incredible. Wherever they are in the world. There will be that connection for them.”

“If we can have more of that and support Rites for Girls to create more of this connection then the world will be a better place as far as I’m concerned.”

“I think the safety of Rites for Girls, to be able to express the struggles of adolescence, that change that happens. To be able to express that with other girls is fantastic, it’s so needed in the world. We need more of it. The more we can really share and communicate their story to other people. To have a wider understanding of the world and their part in it.”

It was incredible to see what an impact meeting the girls has had on Golda and how important she sees the roles of the facilitators in this. She likened it to two teachers she had when she was growing up and how they influenced her.

“They were really instrumental in me having a place at school, me knowing that I had this place I could go to, I was really good at.”

She talked about how the guidance of role models for girls can support an individual by just being themselves, “These two women really were – they did sports and drama, they were there prominently in my life. I was always fascinated by their strong personalities and the way they empowered those around them.”

Golda also talked about the influence they still have on her as an adult and as a successful actor working on the set of a film. She told me, “The environment has to be really positive and really safe where every single person comes with their best foot forward and we support them and celebrate and everybody has a chance to do their best best work and I ran that 10 weeks (of filming) exactly like that and I think that’s what I got from those women.”

It’s inspirational speaking with her and it’s wonderful to hear that she has found her own power and a drive to support others through these early mentors,

“I believe that now I have a calling to create space for people to do their best work, for people to shine. That’s what I want to do in my work.”

What about other women though, those who want to support girls but feel unsure, how can we help them shine? Golda didn’t even have to pause to answer this,

“There’s nothing, what you come is with yourself, you come with yourself and that is the truest form.”

“That’s what you are teaching the girls to find their truest form to understand their true selves and empower them. You encourage the facilitators to come with their true selves, not putting on something else. I think it’s really honest and really beautiful that everyone is different, and they bring different things. From their community, from their past, from their religion, from their race, from their sex. Everything is there to be gifted – so it’s not difficult when you have that mindset it’s really natural. You are bringing yourself.”

“I came out of that session with the girls, and I was so full of energy and empowerment and questions and inquisitiveness. I felt really energised and I smiled for about two hours. I think it was my preteen going ‘mate yes’ and adult me going ‘yes, we did that’. The whole thing is respectful, and you come out respecting yourself – your 12-year-old and your 54 year old.”

It was amazing to hear how Golda understood the ethos of Rites for Girls straight away. The power of our girls’ groups and the instrumental role of our trained women who just bring themselves, as they are to the training and in that way can learn to support, empower and connect girls to grow up in a safe space. I am so looking forward to hearing more from Golda and seeing her develop this Ambassadorial role over the course of 2025 – watch this space and shine.

Details about training to be a facilitator can be found on this website at:

https://www.ritesforgirls.com/facilitator-training/

and if you are looking for a girls’ group for your daughter visit:

https://www.ritesforgirls.com/girls-journeying-together/

 

All images by Jeff Moore