Children’s Mental Health Week by Jayne Bond

To mark Children’s Mental health week, here are a few practical tips on how you can support your child’s mental health.

As parents, one of our most important roles is to support and nurture our children’s emotional well-being. With the increasing pressures and challenges of modern life, our children need us more than ever to help them navigate their emotions and develop resilience. We can do this through effective communication, setting boundaries, emotional regulation, and fostering self-esteem.

Listen Actively

Give your child your full attention when they are speaking. Put away distractions such as your phone or TV and make eye contact. Show that you are listening by nodding and responding with comments like “I see” or “That sounds tough.”

Instead of asking questions that can answered with yes or no, ask open ended questions, for example ‘What was the best part of your day’? this allows your child to reflect on their day.

Be Open and Honest

Encourage open and honest conversations by being open and honest yourself. Share your thoughts and feelings in an age-appropriate way, and let your child know that it’s okay to express their emotions.

Responsiveness

When your child is dealing with a challenging situation or feelings, they could be emotional in their communication with you. If they are angry, don’t react by meeting them back with anger, meet them with curiosity and calm, wondering what has made them feel angry.

Validation

Acknowledge your child’s emotions and let them know that it’s okay to feel what they are feeling. For example, “It sounds like you are really frustrated. It’s okay to feel that way.”

Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for creating a safe and predictable environment for your child. Here are some tips for setting and maintaining boundaries:

Be Clear and Consistent

Clearly communicate the rules and expectations to your child and be consistent in enforcing them. Consistency helps children understand what is expected of them and what the consequences are for not following the rules. Let your child be involved in any conversations about ‘House Rules’, as they need to be fair and apply to everyone.

Be Firm but Fair

While it’s important to be firm in setting boundaries, it’s equally important to be fair and understanding. Take the time to explain the reasons behind the rules and listen to your child’s perspective.

Offer Choices

Giving your child choices within the boundaries you set can help them feel a sense of autonomy and independence. For example, “You can choose to do your homework now or after dinner.”

Emotional Regulation

Helping your child learn to regulate their emotions is crucial for their mental health. Here are some tips for teaching emotional regulation:

 

Model Healthy Coping Strategies

Children learn by observing their parents. Model healthy coping strategies such as deep breathing, taking a break, or talking about your feelings. Your child will be more likely to adopt these strategies themselves. Children learn the most from watching you. If they see coping well in stressful situations, they are likely to manage them well too.

Create a Calm Environment

Create a calm and peaceful environment at home where your child feels safe and secure. This can include having a quiet space for relaxation and limiting exposure to stressful situations. Have limits on screen time for the whole family. Eat meals together, this is a great time to talk together!

Encourage Emotional Expression

Encourage your child to express their emotions in healthy ways, such as talking about their feelings, drawing, or writing in a journal. Let them know that it’s okay to feel and express a range of emotions. If you child struggles to express their feelings, name what you are seeing, for example, your fists are clenched and your shoulders are hunched, you look angry. This gives them the vocabulary to express how they feel and notice the sensations in their body.

Praise Effort, Not Just Achievement

Praise your child for their effort and hard work, not just their achievements. This helps them develop a growth mindset and understand that their value is not solely based on their accomplishments.

Encourage Independence

Encourage your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and make decisions for themselves. This helps them develop a sense of competence and confidence in their abilities. Children need to feel capable and useful.

 

 

Focus on Strengths

Help your child identify and focus on their strengths and talents. Encourage them to pursue activities and hobbies that they enjoy and want to get better at.

Be Supportive and Loving

When our children are being unlovable, is when they need the most love! Show your child that you love and support them unconditionally. Be there for them during difficult times and celebrate their successes. Your support and encouragement are crucial for building their self-esteem.

Self-Care

Supporting your child’s mental health is a continuous and evolving process. By maintaining open communication, setting clear boundaries, teaching emotional regulation, and fostering self-esteem, you can help your child develop the resilience and skills they need to navigate life’s challenges. Remember, your role as a parent is vital, and the love and support you provide are invaluable to your child’s mental well-being. Make sure you are taking care of your own well-being, as it’s hard to give, what you are not receiving yourself. As our founder, Kim McCabe says, ‘Put your own oxygen mask on first!’ Create practises and find the people, that support and resource you, so that you have the patience and energy to model this to your children.

Jayne Bond is a Girls Journeying Together Facilitator and Girls’ Net Mentor in the Bognor Regis area. To find out more about groups and taster please use the link below to contact her.

Jayne Bond

Enjoy time outdoors and reduce stress

How do you deal with stress? I asked my friends and colleagues this question and you’ll be unsurprised to read that for many of us the best way to handle stress is to get outside.

Jayne, a Girls Journeying Together Facilitator said,

“I will go outside to take some deep breaths, or if time allows, cold plunge/ go for a walk/ cold water swim.”

My old university friend Rachel, was happy to share “well it’s an oldie from me, fresh air! Plus doing a bit of exercise.”

When my 17-year-old daughter is feeling wound up about her schoolwork (or bored) she suddenly offers to take the compost out and comes in about 15 minutes later having spent time striding about the garden.

So, what is it about getting outdoors and connecting with nature that is helpful?

Many studies have shown that being outside lowers our cortisol levels which reduces our stress, and it can also help with the symptoms of depression. Being outside in nature can also help your attention span and focus as well as boosting your immune system. Studies have found that those who exercise outdoors regularly have higher levels of serotonin, which lowers tiredness levels and boosts happiness.

Dr Rongan Chatterjee (drchatterjee.com who has the brilliant podcast Feel Better Live More) suggests you only need to spend just five minutes outside every day to start feeling the benefits and reducing your stress levels. These are his ‘nature bites’ that you might want to try out to help alleviate your stress or to support a young person in your life who is feeling overwhelmed.

  1. Go outside for five minutes. Stare at the trees, listen to the birds, watch the branches move in the wind. Really focus on your surroundings and luxuriate in the experience. If you have a garden or balcony, it’s fantastic to do this first thing in the morning – natural daylight exposure at this time is great for your body clock, helping you feel more awake and, hours later, sleep better.

  2. Multitask in nature. This could mean having your morning cup of tea in the garden. Or sitting by an open window, listening to the birds singing or meditating on the branches blowing in the wind. If you need to make a phone call, do it outside. Read a book, sketch, write your diary, take some photos. Look for opportunities to get back to nature, whatever the task at hand.

  3. Get green fingered. If you have a garden, go outside to water and check in on your plants each day, taking the time to really notice how they have changed since the day before. No garden? Build a collection of houseplants and learn to care for them.

  4. Exercise outdoors. The mental health benefits of both exercise and being somewhere green are well proven, so guess what happens when you combine them? Research confirms all-round health, fitness, mood and self-esteem are improved while mental fatigue and stress are reduced.

  5. Listen up. If you can’t get outside, the sounds of nature can be of benefit. A quick search of YouTube, Spotify or any meditation app will find recordings of waves crashing or birds singing, so tune in to some aural therapy.

  6. Gaze on something green. Research has shown that even just looking at images of the natural world (compared to urban environments) is calming. Select a beautiful photo of the outdoors for your screensaver and place a few botanical pictures around your desk at work.